Not My Lens

Since the start of my weight loss journey I’ve been mostly taking pictures of myself. The image that I see on my phone or camera after snapping the shot is viewed with the same introspection that happens when I look at myself in the mirror.

The images and my thoughts are inextricably linked and the lack of self-confidence comes through in both. While I’m not sure if it’s apparent to those that don’t share my brain the inability to see improvement in my physical self has always been there.

It shocked me today when Sharyn sent me my 90 pounds in six month progress pics that we hastily planned. I didn’t see the same person. I knew it was me, but it wasn’t the same me that started this journey. There I saw a happy, confident, and most importantly, thin person. Not super skinny, but normal. I saw a normal person. I saw me as a normal person.

I teared up when I saw the images. It took a second, but my sub-conscious finally matched what my conscious was seeing.

Those pictures showed me what others have always seen: Their husband, son, brother, coworker, friend. I saw me. For the first time I looked at the weight after I looked at the picture.