Thin Discrimination: Judging the Fit

Today’s post is a guest post by Erica Mayer. She and I are both on weight loss journeys of our own. We were having a conversation a few weeks ago regarding our unintentional judgement of what slim/thin people thought of overweight people. WE were making the choices for them instead of allowing them to make that choice for us. I have experienced this with myself which I’ll cover in a future post.

I used to be much smaller, athletic. A swimmer, softball player, cheerleader, choreographer. Young…and judgemental. It now pains me to say I looked at people who were overweight as lazy, and unintelligent. I never poked fun out loud, but thinking it was just as bad. I’m extremely ashamed to say that’s what went through my mind.

So, I suppose you could say karma kicked in. For reasons I won’t get into, my worst fear became reality: I gained weight. So much that I didn’t/still don’t really recognize myself.

I started to shy away from associating with the type of people I used to hang with, competitive athletes. My thought was that since they had never experienced being overweight, they didn’t know how I felt. Most of all, I just assumed they would think of me the way I used to think of overweight people. But, it took an Ironman, bodybuilder, Hollywood star, and love interest to change my mind.

It started a year ago.  I took back my life, conquering anxiety and living for the moment. Putting myself out there, finally doing the things I wanted to do again. I directed a music video, went on vacation despite my weight. It was liberating. But, I was still associating with the people I felt “safe” with. Social Media came into my life and the online relationships were amazing. But, lurking in the back of my mind was the thought, “When we meet in person, will their opinion of me change? Will they think I’m stupid? Lazy?”  Well, it was time to learn a valuable lesson from four extremely fit people.

The Ironman: I met Maikel @maikelvdm over the winter. An Ironman triathlete. This petrified of me, I was positive we wouldn’t “gel” in real life, thinking he’d be appalled by my physical state. Boy was I wrong. He treated me as a respected professional, offering wonderful life and business advice along the way. Now we run @JMU612 together, and he’s like a brother. A few weeks ago I told him about my quest to lose the weight, and I remember his kind tone as he reassured me nobody wanted me to change. I told him I wasn’t doing it because of anything that had been said by peers, but that I wanted my outside to match my inside for a change.

The Female Bodybuilder: Shanen Aranmor ( @greyhoundmamma) has been a family friend for years. A professor in Wellness, and a natural bodybuilder.  But, it wasn’t until she invited me to the National Wellness Conference, and insisted I would love it due to philosophy and mental well-being (something I love to read about now after my mental shift a year ago), that I realized she really “gets” me and had noticed the change in my demeanor. It may sound silly, but the fact that a wonderful woman with so much going on could recognize how I had changed, made me realize how truly kind and aware she really was. I love her so much. A smart, beautiful, race-running, wellness-speaking, butt-kicking woman I find inspiration from everyday.

The Hollywood Star: Ben (@benpatrick90069), known to many as the “movie trailer voice guy” has been working with us at the TV station for years. He is a leader in the gay community, and…well…a gorgeous model, author, and philanthropist. Imagine my surprise, when we met for coffee while he was in town and he hugged me like long lost family. We talked for hours on end. I knew Ben had an amazing soul, but things snapped into complete focus one day when he called me to ask how to speak to someone he knew about a wellness issue that was potentially touchy. I thought that was extremely thoughtful and caring of him to do. He has a giving heart, and kind spirit. A champion for all things good, and one of the first people who cheered me on after I announced my recent weight loss.

The Love Interest: All this time, what I didn’t truly realize was the best example of open-minded love was right under my nose. One of my favorite quotes is, “You don’t love someone for their looks…but because they sing a song only you can hear.”  My husband ( @tommyjohnmayer), is amazing. He played football in college, is on the amateur baseball league of Minnesota, was a track star. The kind of guy who runs a half marathon after work “for fun.”  He’s always been supportive of whatever journey I’m on, but it was the other day when we were giggling uncontrollably over some strange joke, that I realized I love him just as much as I did when I met him, when I was a little cheerleader. Love sees through the outward baggage.

These four people have taught me amazing things. Most of all, to throw away labels completely. It is when we look past the outward appearance that not only do we learn about others, but we find ourselves.

Erica Mayer is a “Preditor” (writer/producer/director/editor) for the WCCO-TV creative team. She also owns a choreography company and Puke Rainbows Photography and directs music videos when time allows. Her passions include a love for the organization charity: water, which is tied in with the Weight Loss for Water campaign she is currently involved in.  Follow her on twitter or check out her blog about photos, and the power of intention and positive thinking. Her mantra is, “When life gives you rain, puke a rainbow.”