Erica had a good point in her guest post “Thin Discrimination: Judging the Fit“. She talked about the judgements she made regarding what skinnier than her people would think of her and how there were specific examples of awesome human beings that proved her wrong.
I do the same thing. I couldn’t believe it when she and I were talking a few weeks ago that she pre-judged peoples’ thoughts of herself JUST LIKE I DO. That’s right, do. After hearing it from her though I realized I had made this mistake many times throughout my personal history.
The biggest example I can think of is when I was dating before I met Megan. I have dated online (Megan and I met on eHarmony) mostly in my life. I was always more comfortable with the arrangement. In normal social situations I find it easy to approach people, strike up a conversation, and generally keep in good contact if necessary. However in situations where attraction is involved I get self-concious, shy, and pretty much wuss out.
This wasn’t helped by the fact that I carefully screened whomever I contacted to try and gauge what their reaction was going to be to me. As in “Were they going to think I was a fat disgusting slob of a guy”… if my brain answered yes, I didn’t contact them. I remember trying to explain to people that I looked like a football linebacker (even though I’m more of a lineman). It was an entirely too awkward time for me. It was more difficult than it should of been. Granted the end result was the best that could have happened, but the process to get there was much too painful.
Someday I’ll stop judging myself. Even while looking at the photos that Erica took of me I found myself picking apart my looks (my belly region). I brought this up to Megan and she didn’t notice.
Why didn’t she notice? Because that’s how I look, it’s me. That’s the person she cares about, loves, and is marrying. He has a belly, she doesn’t notice it unless it’s smaller. I love that, but I assumed the picture made me look fat.
About the pic, I’ll post it here once Erica is ready to display her work with me, but I really really wanted to get this published.
After Publish Thought:
Just because I’m over critical of myself doesn’t mean everybody else is or even cares.